


Coward's Curse

by Ravendite



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hamilton - Freeform, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravendite/pseuds/Ravendite
Summary: You are part of the revolutionary gang and have a crush on flirty Lafayette, but you feel ignored by him. In order to get over him you begin to entertain a relationship with someone else. Lafayette learns something while dealing with the repercussions and leaves you with a difficult choice.





	1. Chapter 1

You were unsure how you’d gotten dragged into this. Again. Once again, the wallflower, in the background.   
You stared into your coke, sullenly, trying to forget the current reality and relive the previous hours. 5 hours ago, John had convinced you to come on this stupid outing with him, Alexander, Hercules, and Lafayette. The prospect of spending time with the handsome Frenchman had excited you and you agreed.   
At first it had been fun. The boys were already drunk after an hour and still drinking. Then a girl sat down at your table. She was dressed in flashy clothes that accentuated and showed off her body. She wore loads of makeup. She was flirty and over the top and attracted the attention of all the boys.   
“Ooooo,” she purred, at Lafayette, “is that a European accent I hear?”  
“Oui, madame, I am from France.” He said. Alex, ever the one upper, began to speak French to her as well.  
“Ooooo. You guys are so handsome and smart. Hey girls!” she called over to her friends, two more girls who looked similar to her.  
The boys all began flirting with the girls and lapping up the attention as the girls flirted with them. Feeling awkward, you got up and went to the bar and ordered a coke, and begin to think.  
Now here you were, at a bar, staring sullenly into our drink, still thinking. More like moping. The fluttering butterflies from earlier were long dead. The last time you looked over, Lafayette had been kissing one of the girls.  
“Y/N!” John said, sliding onto the stool next to you.  
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you forever! You just up and disappeared on us over an hour ago. What’s up with you?” he asked.  
“I just didn’t want to get in your way.” You said to him.  
For a few seconds he was confused, then realization dawned on him.  
“You know what?” he asked.  
“What?” you responded.  
“You should try getting a date. Or at least talking to someone. Try to meet someone. You aren’t at all unattractive and it would be so much better for you then moping.” He said.  
“Okay then, but no one’s going to come up and talk to me if they see me with you, cause they’ll think your my boyfriend, so shoo!” you said.  
“Hey, now. I didn’t say hook up with random people in a bar. I still need to check these guys out.” He said. You giggled at his protectiveness and pushed him away. He reluctantly walked off, returning to the table, still keeping an eye on you. In a way, he was almost like your older brother as well as your friend.  
Maybe that’s how your relationship with all of the boys was, including Lafayette. In the time that you had been friends, you had grown to really like him, possibly have a crush on him, but he only noticed you as a friend. You loved him, loved his friendship, and if that’s what you had to content yourself with, it was so much better than nothing, more than enough. You would be content with his friendship, you decided.  
“Pardon me, madam, but I saw you from across the room and you beauty captivated me. I was enraptured by the idea of getting to know the person behind the beauty. Would you allow me that privilege?”  
You looked up and saw a handsome man, sliding onto the barstool next to you. He had dark skin and a wild halo of curly hair. He was also dressed from head to toe in violet. He exuded confidence and poise, and he was oh so charming.  
“U-um. I’d be willing to give it a go. I’m Y/N L/N.” You said, holding out your hand for a handshake.  
“I’m Thomas, Thomas Jefferson.” He said, taking your hand and kissing it. Maybe, you would take John’s advice after all.  
________________________________  
You had no idea how much time had passed, but you were intrigued and sort of enamored. The night had been amazing. Thomas was so charming and sweet and intelligent.  
“Y/N!” John yelled, interrupting your conversation with Thomas.  
“Hey, I think it’s about time to get out of here. Alex keeps getting into fights. I need help getting the guys home and you’re the only sober one. Unless the room really is spinning. Are there two of you?” he asked.  
You sighed, knowing that John was probably the most sober of your friends. The others would be more drunk and you didn’t want anything to happen to them.  
“I’m sorry Thomas. I have to go. It was so wonderful meeting you and talking to you.” You said, gathering your stuff and pulling out some money to pay for your drink.  
Thomas threw down a twenty for your drink and his, not even blinking.  
“Wait, Y/N. I would love to see you again. Could we go out some other time together? On a date?” he asked. You stared at him, shocked and flustered, yet excited. You felt something that you hadn’t felt in a while.  
“Sure. I would love that. Here’s my number.” You said, scribbling your number on a napkin and handing to him.  
“Oh my goodness!” John said, almost squealing in his inebriated state.  
“Don’t start.” You told him, as you walked off to get the guys.  
“Ma ange belle.” Lafayette greeted you, drunkenly with a dazed smile. He reached out to embrace you.  
Your enamored feelings from earlier with Thomas evaporated. Now you felt conflicted.  
“You take Lafayette, I’ll take Alex and Herc.” You said.  
John didn’t argue. Herc was quite a handful, but right now you just didn’t want to be near Lafayette.  
The car ride home was anything but peaceful. Alex and Herc decided they wanted to sing. Laf and John were pretty much passed out. You drove them to their dorm room and got them inside. You dragged all of them to their rooms and tucked them into their beds.  
You got some water and advil and put it on their nightstands. Laf was last. Apparently, he was a clingy drunk. He kept trying to hug you and murmuring things to you in French.  
“Bonne nuit mon amour.” You though you heard him whisper…but that couldn’t be right. You must have misheard him.  
“What was that?” you asked, leaning in.  
“Bonne nuit-“ you noticed then, the lipstick staining his lips and neck. You jerked away, quickly making your way out of the room to your dorm across the way. Just a friend. He was just a friend.  
______________________________________  
Lafayette slumped into a seat at the back of his French History class. His head was still pounding. The lights too bright. He barely remembered anything from last night. He remembered Y/N. She was always a highlight in his mind. He thought about her so much: her smile, her passion, her kindness, her intellect, wittiness, caring….She was just a friend of course. A great friend.  
“I told you I could do it. The charm works every time. I told you that I could get any girl.” Thomas boasted loudly to James Madison walking in.  
Lafayette barely paid attention as James Thomas took the seats in front of him, Aaron followed behind them. Thomas was often boasting about his conquests. It seemed he had a new one every week.  
“The plain girl that I pointed out to you? What’s her name?” Aaron asked.  
“Uh, I think Y/N. Yeah. Turns out she’s actually pretty hot. I kind of liked talking to her. Man, you should’ve seen. I had her wr-“  
“Did you say Y/N?” Lafayette interrupted.  
Thomas turned around, a boastful smirk on his face.  
“Yeah. She’s a hot girl I picked up last night.” Thomas said.  
Lafayette felt his blood boil and his stomach curdle at Thomas’s words. How dare he? Y/N was not just some girl. She was amazing and special and…It wasn’t fair. How dare he treat her and talk about her as though she was just trivial.  
The thought that he would use her like that outraged him. Yet, a small part of him was intrigued by the prospect of Y/N being single….  
It hit him. Hard. He loved her. She was one of his closest friends and he loved her. He had known for the longest time, he realized.  
“Okay. Okay. You won the bet.” Aaron said.   
“Great. Now pay up.” Thomas replied.   
“Half. First you have to do it.” Aaron said.   
“Ugh. Seriously? Fine.” Thomas replied.   
Lafayette slumped further in his seat, stomach churning in anger, but he had a plan. A plan that would help you feel better, first and foremost, after dealing with this idiot. It might also give him a chance to confess his feelings.   
Perking up, he went online and found the bakery and flower shop.   
_____________________________________  
You stared at the text message for the twentieth time since you had reecieved it.  
Thomas: I’ll pick you up at 6. Can’t wait.  
You stared at your clock. 5:25. There was a pile of clothes on your bed and so many other articles of clothing, accessories, etc. and you still didn’t have an outfit for your date tonight.   
You really liked Thomas and you wanted everything to be perfect for tonight.   
Knock knock knock.   
“Y/N!” Eliza ran in squealing.   
“Oh my goodness! Our baby has a date tonight!” She squealed, barging into your room with Angelica.   
“How did you guys know?” You asked.  
John skipped into your room, behind me.   
“I may or may not have been paying really close attention to your phone and accidentally read a text message detailing a certain date.” John said.   
You threw a pillow at him in mock anger, but you were too excited to really take out wrath on him.   
“So, can you guys help me get ready?” You asked.   
The girls smiled and approached your closet. John held up his hands in surrender and pulled out his phone.   
“I’m just here for moral support.”  
The girls put together different outfits for you to try on. John gave his opinion on which looked the hottest. After that, the girls helped you with your hair and makeup. You looked at yourself in the mirror, after everything was done and…you were delighted. You looked great! The f/c dress flattered you, and accentuated your best features. You looked hot. You felt your heart flutter with excitement.   
“This is your first date in forever! Make it a good one.” Eliza said.   
For the first time in forever you were going out on a date. You were excited.   
“Thank you so much guys.” You said.   
Knock knock knock.   
You looked at the clock. 5:50. He was ten minutes early.  
Eliza squealed quietly and Angelica grinned. They both disappeared quietly to Eliza’s room.  
You opened the door. He stood there, a pink box with a heavenly mouth watering aroma in one hand, a bouquet of flowers, in the other. With the flowers covering his face, you could spongy see his hair, which he had pulled into a neat bun on top of his head.   
“Hi. I’m really excited about tonight. And you brought flowers? How sweet!” You said, letting him in.  
“Of course. You deserve flowers ma cheri. Did you know I was coming over tonight?” He asked, setting the flowers down on the table.   
You froze. The warm happiness in your chest deflated. Suddenly, you felt that conflicting feeling again.   
“Lafayette?”   
He smiled at you.   
“Wow! You look amazing ma cherie. I wanted to talk to you about something.” He said.  
“So Y/N-”  
John walked out of your room and froze when he saw Lafayette. Lafayette’s face, flickered through different emotions. Hurt, anger, confusion.  
“What were you doing in her room?” Lafayette asked, his voice dangerously low.   
“Woah! Man. Chill out. It’s not like that. I was just helping her get ready for her date. Me and Angelica and E-”   
“Date?!” Lafayette exclaimed.   
“Yes. I have a date with Thomas Jefferson tonight.” You told Lafayette, hoping to calm him down. Why was he acting so weird?  
He jerked towards you. Hurt flashed across for a brief second, before it was replaced by pure rage.   
“Thomas?! No. No way in hell are you going on a date with that connard!” He yelled.   
You recoiled in shock. Anger bubbling up in you how dare he?  
“I didn’t realize I needed your permission. Actually. I don’t.” You said, leaving the dorm and slamming the door on your way out.   
_______________________________  
Lafayette turned towards John, fists clenched, eyes blazing.   
“How could you?! You know how I feel about her. Yet, you encouraged her to go out with him?!”   
“While you were off making out with another girl! You completely blew her off because you’re so scared of your feelings. It’s hurting her. She’s been real happy with Thomas. She’s my friend and because I care about her I’d rather see her happy with someone else than miserable moping over you!” John said.   
“When was I ever making out with another girl?” Lafayette asked.   
“When you were at the bar the other day.” John said.   
Lafayette slumped into a chair, shoulders slumped, head in his hands.   
“I was so drunk I don’t remember…I’m sorry that I hurt her that way. She liked me?”   
John shrugged.   
“It’s not my place to tell. And, for the record, you never outright said that you liked her. I just suspected. If I had known for sure, maybe-”   
“Does it even matter?” Lafayette said, staring at the floor.  
“Even if she did like me at one time, it’s past tense. Liked. I am suffering the curse of a blind coward. I didn’t realize how amazing she was. Someone else did. Now, the love of my life is on a date. With another man.” He said mostly to himself.  
He opened the box of sweets that he’d brought. They were all your favorites. He shuffled back to his dorm, anger churning in his stomach.   
He didn’t know if he was more angry with John for encouraging you to date someone like Thomas or with himself for not realizing and telling you his feelings sooner. Jefferson would probably fall just as hard for you tonight. And Jefferson would get to be with you, Lafayette thought bitterly. Meanwhile, Lafayette would sit on the side, heartbroken and longing, suffering the coward’s curse.


	2. Fear overcome

You smiled, as you started thinking about your next date with Thomas. You sent him a text message, asking if he’d made it home okay.  
Thomas: I did. Thanks for asking. Had a great time tonight.   
The night had been great. Thomas was as charming and intelligent as ever. At the end of the night, he had kissed you. It was warm and sweet…In a dark corner of your mind, thoughts haunted you that something was missing. That something wasn’t right. That corner of your mind kept conjuring up thoughts of a certain someone. You tried to push all of the doubtful thoughts away to that small corner, then tried to make that corner of your mind disappear, yet it persisted.   
______________________  
Lafayette shuffled into French History class robotically. Step one of getting through heartbreak: don’t feel anything. Go about your daily routine, unfeeling, ignoring the heartbreak.  
“I can’t believe you actually did that!” James exclaimed, entering the classroom with Aaron and Thomas.  
“Yeah. And she was really sweet. She texted me afterwards to make sure I was okay. She really cares. I kind of like her.”   
They sat down in their normal seats, right in front of Lafayette. Emotions threatened to break through Lafayette’s robotic façade. He kept them down. Why did he have three classes a week with this connard?  
"Okay, so I went on the date. Pay up the other half Aaron.” Thomas said.Aaron pulled some money out of his pocket and handed it to Thomas. Lafayette felt his fists clench and chest heat up, as anger broke through his emotionless heartbroken haze.  
“Morceau de merde! You only went out with Y/N on a bet?!”Thomas turned around in his seat.“What did you call me?” Thomas asked. Of course he spoke French.  
“Calm down.” Aaron said, trying to diffuse the situation.Lafayette put the pieces together, remembering their conversation from the previous week.  
“Okay. Okay. You won the bet.” Aaron said.   
“Great. Now pay up.” Thomas replied.  
“Half. First you have to do it.” Aaron said. “Ugh. Seriously? Fine.” Thomas replied  
Aaron had been saying that first Thomas had to go on the date. And Thomas hadn’t wanted to.  
“I can’t believe you. If I had a date with Y/N then I would treasure it. I would be so excited and I’d want to make it the best night ever for her. And you…” he muttered.  
“Yeah, but you don’t have a date with her. I do. Well another one. This Thursday in fact.” Thomas said smirking. His word, cut deep, like a knife. The wound that he was trying to heal and Thomas had just cut, and thrown salt into the wound.   
“Seriously?!” James exclaimed, “Thomas Jefferson on a second date?!”   
Lafayette, slumped back into his seat and put in headphones, blasting music, until class started. He didn’t want to tell you about the bet. You had been happier than he had seen you in months. Your smile lit up the room and his world. He wanted to see that happiness on you, even if he wasn’t the cause of it. Telling you about the bet would only hurt you. The music successfully worked to drown out the boys. It did nothing to drown out his heartache.  
__________________________  
You excitedly prepared for your night out with your friends. You’d been dating Thomas for a little over a month now, and while that was amazing, you hadn’t spent as much time with the boys. You lived with Eliza, so you got to spend lots of time with her. You got dressed and walked down to one of your normal meeting places, a coffee shop on campus.   
When you walked in, you almost thought the boys weren’t there. They were quiet. You ordered your drink and sat down next to John, watching the awkwardness that ensued.  
Lafayette spoke to Hercules and Alexander, but excluded John. Herc and Alex tried to include John. Awkwardness.  
“Heeey, Y/N. The new, bachelorette no longer! What’s your new boyfriend like.” Hercules said as you sat down.Lafayette flinched. John winced in sympathy.You started, telling them, feeling excited and happy as you remembered the details of your time with Thomas.  
“Wait-Thomas Jefferson?!” Alex asked.You nodded.   
His eyes widedned and he was about to go off on a rant, but John whispered something in his ear, stopping him in his tracks.  
“Okay, but Y/N, I’d be careful with him. He’s a player and a womanizer.” Alex said. Herc and Laf nodded in agreement.  
“But, he’s also never really been on more than one date with a girl. Not only that but he has never dated a girl for more than a month, like he has Y/N-“  
Slam!Lafayette had slammed a fist on the table.  
“Can we stop talking about this? It is friend’s night. You haven’t hung out with us in forever, because you have been busy with your boyfriend, so..”  
“You’re right. I’m sorry guys.” You said, confused. You changed the topic to something else, but kept thinking. The boys had talked about their girlfriend’s before during friend’s night. Why was it a problem when you did it? Yet, Lafayette hadn’t spoken to you or John since the night of your first date. You would do anything to try to ease the tension. ____________________________  
You soaked up the ambience of the restaurant, trying to enjoy your date with Thomas. Your mind had different ideas. It kept wandering to how much you missed Lafayette. He still hadn’t really talked to you much. He was one of your best friends and you missed him.  
Across the room, at the bar, a group of guys that you thought you’d seen around campus were staring at you and Thomas. One of them walked over and patted Thomas on the back.  
“Hey Thomas. Is that the girl?” he asked.  
“Hey Lee.” Thomas said, stiffening.   
“Man! You rightfully won that bet. Aaron was wrong. You can get any girl! And you were right. She is wrapped around your finger. And she’s fine! Good going man. Phi Ro Omega Pride!” Lee said, thumping Thomas and disappearing.  
You felt the blood drain from your face. Sadness, embarrassment, anger, all arose in you.  
“What was he talking about Thomas?” you asked coldly.Thomas had his head in his hands in shame.“That was one of my frat brothers. He’s drunk. I’m sorry about that.” Thomas said.  
“You only went out with me on a bet?!” you asked him.  
“Yes, at first, but then I really-“  
“So, you pick a lonely girl in a bar, and try and make a game of seeing how you can wrap her around you finger?! No. I am not that girl. My friends were right about you. I’m breaking up with you.” you exclaimed, getting up. Tears blurred your eyes.   
“Y/N. It’s not like that!” You didn’t give him time to explain as you got up and left the restaurant, weaving in and out of crowds of people so that he couldn’t find you.  
You walked out of the restaurant in a daze. The warm outside air seemed to bring you back to reality. The restaurant was not that far from campus. Close to Thomas’s frat house, it was also close to a certain set of dorm rooms.Your heartbreak, coupled with your longing for your best friend, compelled you to walk towards the boys dorms instead of the girls. Tears began flowing down your face the minute the restaurant was out of sight.  
________________  
Knock knock knock!  
You pounded on the door relentlessly.Lafayette opened it. The second he saw you, several emotions flitted across his face. From confused, to sad, to worried.  
“Y/N? Ma ange what’s wrong?” he asked, pulling you in for a hug. He shut the door behind him.You just cried into his shirt for a few seconds, absorbing the feeling. His arms wrapped around you. His scent filling your nose. His soothing velvet voice, with that French accent. It just felt, so right.  
“Y/N? Why don’t we get you comfortable, I’ll make some comfort food, and then you tell me what’s wrong. Okay?” he asked. You nodded.   
5 minutes later, you sat on the couch with a huge bowl of popcorn, telling Lafayette what had happened.  
“And I was so desperate that I fell for it. Fell for him. How could I be stupid enough to believe he liked me? I’m not magnetic. I don’t attract attention like other girls do-“  
“Ma amour. You have it all wrong. Thomas is the one who made the mistake. The same mistake I had made, at first. He couldn’t see how amazing you are. Because you truly are amazing. Just the way you are. You don’t have to try hard to attract attention, You don’t need to. Many girls can capture a man’s attention, fleetingly. You, ma amour, you can capture his attention, and his heart. Just as you have mine.” He whispered the last part so soft that you thought you had imagined it.  
Even the thought of imagining him saying something like that made your heart dance. Being here in his arms felt so right. He was so sweet and so perfect. He had known exactly what you needed when you came to him tonight. You felt more from just being in Lafayette’s arms, then you did from kissing Thomas, you realized with a shock.  
“Did you hear me?” Lafayette asked.  
“Was I imagining that last part?” you responded.  
Lafayette, stood up fom the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. He came back with a pink box and a single rose.  
“Non. I said that you have captured my attention and my heart. And I meant it. Every word. A month ago, I went over to your place to confess how I felt. I brought these. You were going out on a date with Thomas. I was heartbroken. He didn’t deserve you. He never deserved you. You were happy with him, and I was happy because you were happy, but I was also sad, distraught, Heartbroken. And I could only blame myself. I hadn’t had the courage to tell you and I was too blind to see how amazing you were. I’d like to try again. Y/N, I love you. You have captured my heart. ” Lafayette said. His eyes were squeezed shut, in fear.  
“I love you too.” You whispered.   
Lafayette opened his eyes and stared at you in wonder with happiness. He put down the stuff on the table, and pulled you gently to your feet. He wrapped you in his arms and pulled you close. Then he lowered his head and met your lips. The kiss was tender and passionate. It was pure bliss. You saw fireworks. Everything felt right. There was no dark corner of uncertainty in your mind. “Ma amour. You have captured my heart. It is forever yours.”


End file.
